March 29, 2012
There are some things I run across in life that just beg the question, “Who thought of this?” You know what I mean, those everyday items that either make your life a little bit easier or a little bit more difficult. I have come up with a list of these items that, I feel sure, were invented by a man somewhere along the line. Guys love gadgets; they don’t really have to serve a purpose, as long as they look or sound cool. For instance:
Girdles. A man, definitely. OK, maybe a skinny woman, but I’m thinking it was a man. Why would a woman care whether another woman looks slimmer? Anyone who actually needs a girdle knows that whatever is squeezed in must squeeze out somewhere else. That scientific principle accounts for the muffin top phenomenon, and it accounts for back fat. It has to go somewhere. A woman would know that.
Thong underwear. Need I say more?
An avocado seeder. Completely unnecessary but a very cool gadget. A spoon does the same job. So does a finger, in a pinch.
Different size tires. I can look at a variety of tires, and all I see are round black things. A man sees “22s” or “high performance.” Are different sizes and profiles really necessary? Don’t they just need to roll?
Golf ball picker-uppers. Come on. It’s a sedentary sport already.
The “pee-pee tee-pee,” a tent-like device designed for use while changing a baby boy’s diaper. Any mom knows there’s no avoiding a mishap here and there when you have a little boy in diapers, contraption or no contraption. Who needs to be looking for yet one more thing while the kid is squirming on the changing table?
And maybe my No. 1 favorite silly invention likely thought up by a guy: the M-3 submachine gun designed for shooting around corners. It was a machine gun with – you guessed it – a curved barrel. Talk about “shoot first, ask questions later.”
The world is full of whacky inventions that someone, somewhere along the line thought would be the best idea ever. What’s the funniest invention you’ve ever seen or heard of?
Carole Townsend is also a Gwinnett Daily Post staff correspondent and author of the recently-released book, “Southern Fried White Trash.” The book takes a humorous look at families and how we behave when thrown together for weddings, funerals and holidays. She has been quoted on msnbc.com, in the LA Times, USA Today and the Christian Science Monitor, been featured on FOX 5 News and CNN, and is often a guest on television and radio shows nationwide.