April 29, 2011
Photo by Howard Reed
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JENKINS: In defense of tenured professors, Part II
In last week's column, I explained that the concept of "permanent employment" doesn't just apply to tenured college professors. Workers in other knowledge-based professions that likewise require a great deal of education, such as law and accounting, often have the opportunity to attain something remarkably similar to tenure, known as partnership.
JENKINS: In defense of tenured professors, Part II
In last week’s column, I explained that the concept of “permanent employment” doesn’t just apply to tenured college professors. Workers in other knowledge-based professions that likewise require a great deal of education, such as law and accounting, often have the opportunity to attain something remarkably similar to tenure, known as partnership.
JENKINS: In defense of tenure college professors -- Part I
I've devoted several recent columns to explaining -- mostly to fellow conservatives -- that public school teachers are not the enemy.
JENKINS: In defense of tenure college professors - Part I
I’ve devoted several recent columns to explaining — mostly to fellow conservatives — that public school teachers are not the enemy. For the next couple of weeks, I’d like to defend another oft-maligned group: tenured college professors.
JENKINS: Disarray in Washington, D.C., may be symbolic
Our nation's capitol is a mess. I'm not talking about politics -- although, yeah, that too. I mean it's literally a mess.
JENKINS: Disarray in Washington, D.C., may be symbolic
Our nation’s capitol is a mess. I’m not talking about politics — although, yeah, that too. I mean it’s literally a mess.
JENKINS: An open letter to the family of Shannon Stone
First, let me express my sincere condolences for the loss of your husband, son, and father, who died tragically when he fell from the bleachers while trying to catch a baseball during a Texas Rangers' game on July 7.
JENKINS: Bullies thrive because we've forgotten how to deal with them
One of the less attractive features of the nanny-state is its exaggerated hand-wringing over problems that didn't even exist before the nanny moved in.
JENKINS: Bullies thrive because we've forgotten how to deal with them
One of the less attractive features of the nanny-state is its exaggerated hand-wringing over problems that didn’t even exist before the nanny moved in.
JENKINS: College sports' 'worst year ever' actually typical
A recent headline proclaimed the past 12 months "The Worst Year Ever" in college sports -- referring, of course, to the myriad scandals involving high profile figures like Auburn quarterback Cam Newton, Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl, and Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel.
JENKINS: College sports' 'worst year ever' actually typical
A recent headline proclaimed the past 12 months “The Worst Year Ever” in college sports — referring, of course, to the myriad scandals involving high profile figures like Auburn quarterback Cam Newton, Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl, and Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel.
JENKINS: The best commencement address I've never heard
Dozens of high schools in Metro Atlanta and not one has ever invited me to give the commencement address. Go figure.
JENKINS: Osama bin Laden and some things I don't understand
Don't get me wrong: I was as happy as the next guy to see Osama bin Laden get what he deserved. Unless, of course, the next guy happened to be named Barack Obama, in which case, no, I probably wasn't quite as happy.
JENKINS: Two-year and state colleges: Now more of a bargain than ever
If you’re still trying to figure out how to pay for college in the fall — well, maybe you’re looking at the wrong college.
JENKINS: Bidding farewell to another chocolate season
“April is the cruelest month,” wrote the poet T.S. Eliot, and I’m inclined to agree. That’s because April marks the end of the six-month chocolate candy extravaganza that begins in late October.
JENKINS: Mormon sports legends Murphy, Young invade Lilburn
A couple of years ago, while Dale Murphy was signing autographs at the Braves spring training facility, a little boy standing in line tugged on his father’s arm and asked, “Daddy, who’s that?”
JENKINS: A contrarian's take on controversial teachers' unions
Let me preface this column by stating that I am not a union member, for a couple of pretty good reasons.
JENKINS: Are Advanced Placement classes really the best option?
If your high-school-age son or daughter is planning to take “Advanced Placement” courses next fall, you might want to ask yourself a couple of questions: what, exactly, makes those courses “advanced,” and what sort of “placement” do they guarantee?
JENKINS: Gunfight at the OK biology lab?
If you think grade inflation in college is bad now, just wait until the students are allowed to carry guns.
JENKINS: Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be teachers
Memo to my children: Whatever you decide to do in life, please do not become school teachers. Instead, choose a career where the working conditions are slightly less hostile and authoritarian, such as pro-American journalist in Libya.
JENKINS: This Valentine's Day, don't call the 'Vice President of Romance'
As Valentine’s Day draws near, I feel compelled — against my better judgment — to offer a few thoughts on romance. This is aimed primarily at men, but wives should feel free to read it out loud to their husbands.
JENKINS: Stupid things I've said, 2010 edition (Volume II)
Welcome back to my annual “Stupid Things I Have Said” self-flagellation fest, part two. Please note that you are witnessing a new record: Never before have I said so many stupid things in one year that it took two columns to cover them all.
JENKINS: Telling the coach what to do is our new national pastime
No one feels sorry for coaches, especially at the major college and professional levels. They spend every day doing what most of us do for recreation. They’re celebrities. And they’re extremely well-paid — in some cases, even years after getting fired.
JENKINS: Boys will be boys - if they don't want to be the victims of bullying
The other day, my 13-year-old asked me, “Dad, is bullying more common these days, or do we just hear more about it?”
JENKINS: Rules of the road for teenage drivers
It was inevitable, I suppose: after my column a couple of weeks ago on driving in traffic, I received the obligatory e-mails from parents who were shocked -- shocked, I tell you! -- that I would recommend such aggressive tactics. Apparently their main concern was that their teenagers would be unduly influenced by my bad example.
JENKINS: How to get from here to there in the least amount of time
If you live in Gwinnett County, you probably spend a lot of time going from one place to another — by car, of course. Our suburbs aren’t designed for people to walk anywhere, as witnessed by our collective bulk, while braving Gwinnett’s busy streets on a bicycle is tantamount to having a death wish.
JENKINS: From 76 trombones down to 3
A passage from Don McLean's classic "American Pie" describes an event that, apparently, could never happen at a modern high school: "The players tried to take the field," he says, but "the marching band refused to yield."
JENKINS: I'd gladly say so long to summer if it didn't last so long
The longer I live, the more our endless Georgia summers oppress me. Don’t get me wrong — living here in the summer is a lot better than not living, although sometimes I suspect it’s kind of like what certain people experience when they’re not living.
JENKINS: I wondered if Gwinnett reads? Why yes, we do
When I first heard about Gwinnett Reads, I was like, “Really? Gwinnett reads? I knew Gwinnett watches football and obsesses about other people’s lawns and sits in traffic for two hours. But reads? Who knew?”
JENKINS: Car repairs lead to appreciation of local businesses
One of life's greatest sources of unpleasantness, besides government, is automotive repair. In fact, car repairs are a lot like government: They're ridiculously expensive, often don't actually fix anything and sometimes make matters worse.
JENKINS: If you can read this, you should thank a teacher
In these times of falling test scores, cheating scandals, and budget crises, public school teachers have become convenient scapegoats — especially among certain right-wing pundits and politicians. Which seems odd, because most of the teachers I know are pretty conservative, God-fearing folks.
JENKINS: Hiking the Appalachian Trail: A matter of trail and error
Last week I spent time with my 12-year-old Boy Scout at Camp Rainey Mountain in Northeast Georgia. While there I took cold showers, ate several items that could not be conclusively identified as belonging to any of the seven major food groups, and hiked to a place called Big Rock, which turned out to be, well, a big rock.
JENKINS: Enough of this futbol, let's get back to football
Today the World Cup comes to a merciful end, after weeks of hype and force-fed coverage. It's as if the national media has been putting on a full-court press (that's just an analogy; nothing as exciting as a full-court press actually happens in soccer) trying to get Americans to care.
JENKINS: Yard sales are no exercise in self-esteem building
Funny thing about a yard sale: You never really see your own junk until you see it through someone else's eyes. And then you realize ... it really is junk.
JENKINS: Let's put the 'student' back in 'student-athlete'
In this final installment of my series on reforming college athletics, I'd like to focus on the athletes. The impending financial implosion isn't their fault; they're just the piece of foam board on which the entire house of cards is built. Any reforms must include them.
JENKINS: Let's put the 'student' back in 'student-athlete'
In this final installment of my series on reforming college athletics, I’d like to focus on the athletes. The impending financial implosion isn’t their fault; they’re just the piece of foam board on which the entire house of cards is built. Any reforms must include them.
JENKINS: In November, residents should remember trash debacle
As of July 1, Gwinnett County homeowners will no longer get to decide which company picks up their trash. The Nanny State, Gwinnett County version, has taken care of that little detail for us. Maybe next she'll tell us where to get our teeth cleaned and our hair cut.
JENKINS: To reform college athletics, control coaches' pay
Note that I'm writing these columns about reforming collegiate athletics when the NCAA basketball tournament is two months behind us and the start of football practice is nearly two months away. That's not a coincidence.
JENKINS: We should fix college athletics before a 'market correction'
Before I commence hacking off all the college sports fans out there, let me just say this: I’m one of you.
JENKINS: Do we have a right to stupidity, unhappiness?
Much of the debate in this country can be boiled down to a single question: Does the right to pursue happiness also imply a right to pursue unhappiness?
JENKINS: Goodbye, water towers: Excess lives here no more
As we say our final farewells to the Gwinnett Eyesores -- I mean, water towers -- it seems fitting to revisit, once again, the motto that they have proudly displayed lo, these many years.
JENKINS: Four observations on why we can't live without moms
Mother's Day, I must confess, has sort of snuck up on me this year. Didn't it used to be later in the month? Is it May already?
JENKINS: Four observations on why we can't live without moms
Mother's Day, I must confess, has sort of snuck up on me this year. Didn't it used to be later in the month? Is it May already?
JENKINS: An open message to neighborhood lawn police
Twice in the past eight years I've written about homeowners' associations -- specifically, my homeowners association. The first of those columns was not exactly positive, the second considerably moreso.
JENKINS: Seattle: The more laid-back San Francisco
If you have a few days to kill, and you don't mind spending two of them traveling, you might want to add Seattle to your list of places to visit before you die.
JENKINS: Changing the name doesn't change the facts
When something stinks, simply changing its name doesn't make it stink any less. Over time, you just create another synonym for "stinks."
JENKINS: When choosing high school classes, why not pick college instead?
It's that time of year when high school students decide which classes they want to take next year. I know because my 15-year-old just asked me if he could switch to another math class. Apparently all the best-looking girls are in that one.
JENKINS: A 'March Madness' primer for the uninitiated
With this weekend's Final Four, the monthlong college basketball orgy that only people who work for CBS are allowed to call "March Madness" finally draws to a close. It's the one time of year when even people who don't care about basketball care about basketball.
JENKINS: A 'March Madness' primer for the uninitiated
With this weekend's Final Four, the monthlong college basketball orgy that only people who work for CBS are allowed to call "March Madness" finally draws to a close. It's the one time of year when even people who don't care about basketball care about basketball.
JENKINS: How to spare your child humiliation by choosing the right name
First, I'd like to express my appreciation to those readers who responded to last week's column by sharing some of the more bizarre names they've encountered. So to Delmer, Credenza, Uniqua, Placenta and Heironymous, let me just say thanks for the e-mails.
JENKINS: A recent story on Yahoo asserted that parents these days are giving their kids more unusual names than ever.
A recent story on Yahoo asserted that parents these days are giving their kids more unusual names than ever.
JENKINS: With apologies to Forrest Gump, sorry is as sorry does
When I was a kid and my dad would get onto me for doing something wrong, and I'd say "I'm sorry" without a trace of sincerity, he'd always respond, "I wasn't asking for a character reference."
JENKINS: From Paris with love: Ideas for your Valentine
Hey, guys -- still wondering what to do for your wife or girlfriend today? How about whisking her off to Paris, which may be the only place on earth where you can declare your undying affection by presenting her with a human heart.
JENKINS: Responding to local readers' comments
(The following e-mails are real. They have been edited for length, coherence and sanity.)
JENKINS: Some practical advice for e-mail spammers
Normally I clean out my spam folder several times a day, to keep junk mail from piling up like broken campaign promises on the White House lawn.
JENKINS: A special legislative edition of 'The Devil's Dictionary'
With the state legislature back in session and Congress stubbornly refusing to just go away, it seems as good a time as any for another installment of "The Devil's Dictionary" -- and no, Tea Partiers, that term doesn't refer to Nancy Pelosi's personalized copy of Webster's.
JENKINS: The valuable lessons the Oughts decade taught us
Recently, I've developed the habit of looking back and pondering life's lessons. Perhaps that's because, at this point, my own personal timeline extends further in that direction than the other.
JENKINS: An open letter from the newly appointed Entertainment Czar
Having been continually subjected to the so-called music that permeates our department stores, shopping malls and public airwaves this time of year, I must say that I am deeply offended.
JENKINS: The best of my worst sayings in '09
It's December, which can only mean two things: somewhere in America, a public school teacher is being disciplined for using the word "Christmas," and it's time for another "stupid things I have said" column.
JENKINS: Things to avoid when hiring a football coach
While other guys were giving thanks last week -- giving thanks that they're not Tiger Woods, I mean -- I was thinking about more important things, like college football.
ROB JENKINS: People should reconsider government-controlled health care
Those of us who have been scratching our heads, wondering what's so wrong with our nation's health care system that it has to be blown up like a "MythBusters" dummy, finally have our answer.
JENKINS: A condensed version of 'New Moon' -- for fans and otherwise
(The following is for those who are not 14-year-old girls and have therefore not yet seen the latest installment in the "Twilight" series, "New Moon." Summit Entertainment has authorized me to write it, provided I do so with my shirt off.)
Jenkins: Trust me, fact really is stranger than fiction
I've seen a lot of strange things lately, and I'm not just talking about Nancy Pelosi's attempts to smile.
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