I'm on vacation this week. Since it looks like every vacation until the end of time is going to be a staycation, I've decided to at least give this one a theme. The title: Man's World.
I've been working on manly things, watching manly movies, drinking manly drinks -- you know, guy stuff. So far this week, I have:
1) Drank a Foster's oil can of beer.
2) Mowed the grass.
3) Hauled something in my pickup truck.
4) Fixed my weedeater. OK, I didn't fix it so much as I broke it. But I watched my father-in-law -- who I'm convinced could fix anything, except maybe the economy -- fix it. I lent moral support.
5) Cleaned out and organized my toolbox and the cabinet in my garage. I was inspired by the aforementioned trip to my father-in-law's workshop. He has every tool known to man, knows how to use them and knows right where they are. I, on the other hand, have about half the tools known to man and know what a quarter of them do. But at least now I can find them. The ones in that one cabinet anyway.
6) Ate a big bowl of Brunswick stew with enough hot sauce to make lesser men cry. Ditto some chicken wings.
7) Went to the cardioligist. Not because of the chicken wings and beer. And maybe this would be better listed under Middle-aged Man's World, but seeing as how I got an A-OK, which made me feel like a warrior, I'm including it.
8) Watched my Raiders lose on "Monday Night Football." It's Commitment to Excellence and Just Win, Baby, not Commitment to Mediocrity and Win Occasionally, Baby. (Under Mature Man's World, we could at least list that I didn't throw anything at the TV.)
9) And speaking of men and football, while I was technically at work last Saturday night, I still count my Bulldogs whipping Missouri with "Old-man football" as part of this week.
10) Watched a muscle car auto auction and drooled over Corvettes, Camaros and Challengers I will never own.
11) Flipped the odometer over to 229,000 miles on the 1999 truck I do own.
12) Watched "Rawhide," "Thunderbolt and Lightfoot" -- Clint Eastwood will always be cool to me, no matter how much the cyberworld trashes him -- and "Die Hard," which is in the running for greatest action movie ever. And, it's doubly manly, because Bruce Willis talks about John Wayne and Roy Rogers.
Still to do: Finish the mancave I've been working on, some woodwork/staining, cooking some deer meat, more football and I'm wrapping it up at the County Fair with a trip to the sideshow and some chicken on a stick.
Can't you just smell the testosterone in the air? I know I can.
Yippee ki yay.
Email Nate McCullough at firstname.lastname@example.org. His column appears on Fridays. For archived columns, go to www.gwinnettdailypost.com/natemccullough.