MCCULLOUGH: For once, we get to dance in the streets

Nate McCullough

Nate McCullough

To echo the comedian Stephen Colbert, I hope I am never again this happy over someone’s death.

But God, it feels good, doesn’t it? We finally got him. The monster. The boogey man. The spectre hanging over our heads for a decade is gone.

War on terrorism over? No. Al-Qaida still a threat? Yes. But the snake has to find a new head, and that has to leave the body floundering for at least a little while.

To make a thorough examination of the effect Osama bin Laden and his band of lunatics had on daily life — not just in America but around the world — the past 10 years would require volumes, and I’m sure someone much more qualified than me will break it down for us in the near future. The list of personal liberties alone that we gave up (not all of us willingly) in trade for security is quite a long one.

Do I believe we’re just suddenly going to go back to getting on airplanes without being violated and the government will just stop eavesdropping on us? Not for a minute. But some people in the government will have firmer ground to stand on in making the case that it might be time to ease up on the police state.

Do I believe we can just fold the tents in Iraq and Afghanistan? No. But maybe we can at least start packing up some nonessential items.

Ultimately, I’m not sure how much will really change in the near future. Probably not much. But it seems like we can start having some conversations we couldn’t have before Sunday.

And speaking of conversations, let’s stop with the silly conspiracy talk. Even our most moronic government official would not be stupid enough to fake something like this. All bin Laden would have had to do was make a video holding up a paper saying he was dead to prove we’d made it up.

And we don’t need any photos. First of all, some folks aren’t going to believe it no matter what evidence you show them. And second, how many of you remember the Somalis dragging that dead Marine through the streets back in the ’90s? I don’t know about you, but I wanted to nuke them at the time, and I still harbor a grudge over those images. Al-Qaida is at a low point right now. We don’t need to pump their resolve back up by running pictures of bin Laden sans his skull cap.

As for the body, it’s fish food for three simple reasons: No drawn out battle over where his body should go, no “martyr’s” funeral and no shrine to this mad man.

So get it through your tin-foil-wrapped heads: He’s dead. “Morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably and reliably dead,” as the Munchkins would sing.

Bin Laden is no more, and for once, it was our side dancing in the streets. Let’s stop with the conspiracies and bickering and just enjoy it.

Email Nate McCullough at nate.mccullough@gwinnettdailypost.com. His column appears on Fridays. For archived columns, go to www.gwinnettdailypost.com/natemccullough.