So first things first, I like to keep you folks updated whenever I have a change in attitude and I had several this week, not the least of which is, I, uh, got a Twitter account.
I know, I know, say it ain’t so, Nate. You can’t be a twit. You were the last voice of reason in the social networking gale.
Would it help if I said I had a really, really good reason?
Check this out: NASA is sending a humanoid into space. I have now lived long enough to see robots in space transition from fictional characters in science-fiction movies into reality. The Astrorobonaut is a human-shaped robot (well, except that it doesn’t have legs yet) that is being launched into space to take up permanent duty on the International Space Station. And it’s going to tweet from space.
How could I miss out on that? I mean, c’mon. Robots in space? If that’s not reason enough to sign up for Twitter, I don’t know what is. Plus, I already have four followers, so it’s only a matter of time before I overtake Ashton Kutcher.
And by the way, so far, except for the robot thing? Every bit as pointless as I thought it would be.
Now that the election is over (mostly) here are a few observations:
• First and foremost, thank you voting gods for letting Nathan Deal get more than 50 percent. I just don’t think I could’ve taken three more weeks of those commercials. I’m still trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be afraid of now. Will I go broke or will we face some sort of scorched-Earth apocalypse? Will someone shoot me with arrows? I’m really not sure. Good job, Supreme Court, letting anybody spend money on campaigns.
• When Americans realize they may have made a huge mistake, they will be the first to admit it, or at least they will within a couple of years. They voted for change. They hated change. So now we will try stalemate. Should be fun watching nothing get done for the next couple of years.
• Finally, I just have this to say to California: Jerry Brown again? Really?
With Halloween behind us, let’s adopt these rules for next year:
• Trick-or-treat is for children. Period. If I see one more 30-year-old man wearing his old high school football uniform and holding a pillow case open while standing in line with toddlers, I think I may have an aneurysm. You had your childhood. Let them have theirs.
• Along those lines, let your little ghost or goblin have their childhood in their own neighborhood. Trick-or-treating on the next street over is one thing. Driving 12 miles so your little monster can complete a sweep of all the subdivisions in the county is ridiculous.
• Finally, let’s leave the sexy costumes at home, moms. I’m all for sexy nurses and cheerleaders at the adult costume party, but my 9-year-old should not have to look at your butt cheeks while waiting in line for a free candy bar.
That’s all for now. I have to go think of something witty to say in 140 characters or less.
E-mail Nate McCullough at firstname.lastname@example.org. His column appears on Fridays.