McLEOD: Five mind-sets of super successful people

What's the difference between good and great?

Why are some people able to create super successful lives, while most of their peers hover near the mediocre middle?

As someone who's spent a lifetime studying human behavior, it's not just about your level of education, or your skills, it's about the mind-set that you bring to everything, particularly your interactions with others.

The superstars of life don't just act differently, they think differently. And I'm not just talking about monetary or career success. I'm talking about success as a human being.

Because whether you're trying to become a superstar parent or a superstar sales person, the difference between success and failure always starts with mind-set. Your own internal thought track is what sets the tone for all your interactions.

Here are the five mind-sets of life's superstars:

1. Superstars hold two agendas in their mind at the same time.

Average people tend to approach their interactions with others focused exclusively on their own goals. Superstars, on the other hand, go into situations focused on their goals AND the goals of the other person. This seemingly nuanced difference in thinking is why superstars create better relationships and garner more support for just about everything they do.

2. Superstars can sit with uncertainty.

Mediocre performers want things to go according to their script. Whether it's a sales call, a board meeting or a family reunion, they get anxious in the face of change and uncertainty. Superstars, on the other hand, are more confident. They know that they'll ultimately be able to close the deal, make their presentation or fill their plate in the buffet line; but they're not attached to having it play out in a certain way. This keeps them from getting uneasy, and makes them more fun and engaging to be around.

3. Superstars work backward.

Many people approach their life thinking, "I have these problems or goals; how might my spouse, boss, parent, co-worker or customer help me eliminate them, solve them or accomplish them?" Superstars reverse it. They think '"I have this spouse, customer, co-worker, parent or boss, how might I be helpful?"

4. Superstars define success differently.

Many people tend to view the people around them as either obstacles or helpers. They often use words like gatekeepers, blocker, competitive threat or supporter, defining others in the context of whether they're going to help or hinder their efforts.

Superstars have a different definition of success. Other people aren't just a means to accomplish their sales goals; other people are their goal. They want to create success for everyone.

5. Superstars show up with love.

There are basically only two emotions: love and fear. They play out the same way at work as they do in our personal lives. Love expands, fear contracts.

Average people might not be quaking in their boots every minute of the day, but they spend a lot of time worrying about whether or not things will go their way. This unspoken fear creates an emotional wall between them and everyone they encounter. Superstars have no such barrier. When they're with you, they're fully with you.

It's not just about what the superstars do differently, it's about the way they think. So start thinking like a superstar, and it's only a matter of time before you become one.

Snellville resident Lisa Earle McLeod is a keynote speaker, consultant, and the best-selling author of "The Triangle of Truth." Sign up for her newsletter at www.TriangleofTruth.com.