To find themselves, some people cycle across country or backpack through Europe or climb the Himalayas.
I just Google.
A search of the modern-day oracle, using key words "Rob Jenkins," yields more than 600,000 hits. That means my name appears more on the Internet than in my high school yearbook, the Ringgold, Georgia police log (circa 1979) and the Gwinnett County Public Libraries overdue book list -- combined.
For instance, I bet you didn't know that, in addition to writing this popular weekly column -- which came up often in my search, by the way -- I'm also a well-known glass blower.
That's right. It says so right on Google: "Rob Jenkins makes contemporary art glass sculpture, handcrafted in Benicia, Calif." I can't remember ever being in Benicia, Calif., but you know how it is when you're blowing glass.
I'm also a rock star, which might surprise anyone who has heard me sing. Not only that, but I was a child prodigy. No, really. Listen: "Rob started playing guitar at age fifteen. He played in numerous live performing bands before building his own commercial recording studio."
Believe me, it's cool having your own commercial recording studio, even though my wife really wanted a craft room.
Nor are guitar-playing and glass-blowing my only talents. In England I'm both a noted rugby player and one of the country's top amateur bowlers. I also teach ballroom dancing in Indianapolis. Apparently, my "love of dancing started in an elective ballroom class at Indiana University. After earning a degree in anthropology, (I) decided (I) could not stop dancing."
I even have a burgeoning career as an actor, as you already know if you've seen my classic cult film "Undead," which is about zombies. Or maybe about the current state of the U.S. economy. I'm not sure.
But music, glass-blowing, rugby, dancing and acting are just hobbies. My true calling remains higher education. In fact, besides being a professor at Georgia Perimeter College, I also teach at Santa Ana College and the University of London. Talk about your commutes.
Writing holds an important place in my life, too, as demonstrated by two current tomes, "Standards-Based English" and "Democratic Politics and Economic Reform in India," both available on Amazon.com. Better yet, just order through me, care of this fine newspaper. Make your check payable to Rob Jenkins.
On top of everything else, in my spare time, I run a residential cleaning service in Ontario, broker home mortgages out of my Ohio office, and manage the public swimming pool in Epworth, England. And my editor wonders why I have trouble meeting deadlines.
Not this week, though. I'd love to tell you more about myself, but it's time to send this column on its way. If you need me, I'll be in my commercial recording studio handcrafting contemporary glass sculpture while doing the tango. Because I just can't stop.
Rob Jenkins is associate professor of English at Georgia Perimeter College. E-mail him at email@example.com.