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Mom: No idea son was suicidal
Columbine killer's mother speaks out

DENVER - In the first detailed public remarks by any parent of the two Columbine killers, Dylan Klebold's mother says she had no idea her son was suicidal until she read his journals after the 1999 high school massacre.

Susan Klebold's essay in next month's issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, says she is still struggling to make sense of what happened when her son and Eric Harris killed 12 students and a teacher in the shooting rampage at Columbine High School in suburban Denver. Twenty-one people were injured before Klebold and Harris killed themselves.

'For the rest of my life, I will be haunted by the horror and anguish Dylan caused,' she wrote. 'I cannot look at a child in a grocery store or on the street without thinking about how my son's schoolmates spent the last moments of their lives. Dylan changed everything I believed about myself, about God, about family, and about love.'

The killers' parents have repeatedly declined to talk about the massacre. They gave depositions in a lawsuit filed by families of the victims, but a judge in 2007 sealed them for 20 years after the lawsuit was settled out of court.

In her essay, Susan Klebold wrote that she didn't know her son was so disturbed.

'Dylan's participation in the massacre was impossible for me to accept until I began to connect it to his own death,' she wrote in excerpts released by the magazine ahead of Tuesday's publication. 'Once I saw his journals, it was clear to me that Dylan entered the school with the intention of dying there. And so in order to understand what he might have been thinking, I started to learn all I could about suicide.'

In a statement with the essay, Oprah Winfrey wrote that Susan Klebold has turned down repeated interview requests but finally agreed to write an essay for O. A spokeswoman for the magazine said Klebold was not paid for the essay, and there were no plans for her to appear on Winfrey's television show.

A spokeswoman for the Klebold family said there would be no further statements.