More reasons to vote for The Chosen One

No doubt Georgia, like the rest of America, is crazy about Barack Obama, and who wouldn't be? The man is so charismatic, he makes me tingle all over.

No, wait, I was sitting on my cell phone.

Anyway, for all the Obama faithful, as well as those who might inexplicably be wavering, here are just a few more reasons to vote for The Chosen One (as if you really needed them):

Because you're getting darn tired of waiting for yourself.

Because he looks like that guy who played the President on "24." You know, the "You're in good hands with Allstate" guy. In fact, Obama's campaign slogan should be, "You're in good hands with Barack." That might not be true, but it would certainly be effective advertising. Excuse the redundancy.

Because you think Sarah Palin really is a pig - albeit one who looks pretty good in lipstick.

Because community organizing is much better training for the job of Commander-in-Chief than serving 23 years as a naval officer.

Because everyone knows the best way to improve the economy is by raising taxes on the people who produce wealth.

Because Obama is just like the rest of us: He got a loan he didn't really qualify for on a house he couldn't really afford.

Because Barack can still get out and shoot baskets with the fellas, whereas McCain isn't much of an athlete, what with those short arms and all.

Because Obama's choice of long-time Washington insider and perennial presidential candidate Joe Biden as running mate proves that he's committed to change.

Because Oprah loves him - and Hillary can't stand him.

Because more lawyers running this country is exactly what we need.

Because McCain isn't a bona fide conservative like Ronald Reagan, so you might as well vote for the socialist.

Because with all the recent fallout from government intervention in the free markets, in the form of politically correct lending rules for banks, what we obviously need is more government intervention.

Because his wife, Michelle, was proud of America for a couple of minutes a few months ago.

Because Obama never authorized anyone to hack into Palin's private e-mail account, slander McCain as a traitor for breaking under torture or throw feces at Republican convention delegates. It's just that hackers, slanderers and feces-throwers all happen to be Obama supporters.

Because talking things out with foreign despots who threaten the world's security and make direct threats against their neighbors has worked out so well in the past.

I could go on, but I think I've just about whipped myself into a frenzy. No, wait. Cell phone again.

Rob Jenkins is an associate professor of English at Georgia Perimeter College. Visit his Web site at www.robjenkins.com or e-mail him at mail@robjenkins.com.