Lordy, I upset some Georgia Tech fans a couple of weeks ago by poking fun at their all-night Welcoming Event and Brand Alignment hootenanny on Nov. 1.
One reader told me that students no longer use slide rules at Tech, as I had implied. I suppose that means they've also given up the T-Squares they used to wear on their belts like pistols.
Another reader, after making a close examination of the picture that usually accompanies this column, informed me that I was old and ugly. (That was a shocker. I thought I looked like Prince William.)
A number of Tech athletic supporters railed about my lack of education since I attended the University of Georgia (the nation's oldest state-chartered university, located in Athens, the Classic City of the South.) That included Randy, who kept writing me and referring to me as a "moran" [sic]. He also threatened to show up at my speech to the Smyrna Rotary Club in October with his friends and heckle me. The only problem is that the speech was in October of last year. Details don't seem to be Randy's strong suit.
In fairness, a number of Georgia Tech fans told me that they did not approve of what the current athletic administration is doing to the image of the school. One said the late legendary Coach Bobby Dodd must be "whirling in his grave." I agree. Somehow, I don't remember Tech having any problem filling Grant Field when he was turning out those great teams of his. But then, what do I know? I am just an old and ugly moran.
All of this may be moot anyway. Earlier this month, while we weren't looking, Ray McBerry, chairman of the Georgia League of the South, attended a secessionist convention in Chattanooga. According to the League, he was there to discuss "the practical use of 'secession' as a remedy for the unconstitutional encroachments of the out of control and increasingly corrupt federal government upon individual liberties and States' Rights."
Also attending was the "Second Vermont Republic."
If Vermont and Georgia do secede from the union, Georgia and Georgia Tech will probably have to give up football and play ice hockey all year. The University of Vermont doesn't play college football (although it does play club football, but that doesn't count).
Nobody in what will remain of the United States will play us since we will be foreigners. It would be like them playing Bolivia. I hope McBerry has thought through all of that.
Here's a suggestion: Why don't all the flaggers move to Atlanta and then secede and take Malfunction Junction with them? That would make a lot of folks in the state very happy on several levels.
Some readers have asked me to encourage former Sen. Sam Nunn to run for president. I'm not sure I carry much weight with him these days, but I am willing to try. Given the underwhelming crop of current candidates in both parties, I hope the senator would consider a run. He is a good man and would make a good president.
From what I hear, he can raise the money for the campaign. The question is whether he is willing to endure the political mudslinging and character assassinations that are de rigueur these days to get elected to any public office.
While you and I are suffering through the worst water crisis in the state's history, Stone Mountain Park was busy pumping 38 gallons of municipal water per minute for 12 to 18 hours a day to build a "snow mountain" to which they planned to sell tickets before the predictable negative blowback from the public rightly stopped their project in its tracks.
I cannot believe the park's management even considered such a stupid and unethical idea in the first place. Where was their PR counsel? Taking a shower?
Finally, President Peanut says his favorite song is "Imagine," by John Lennon. Remember the lyrics? "Imagine" talks of a world with no heaven, no hell and no religion. And this man teaches Sunday school? Imagine that!
E-mail columnist Dick Yarbrough at firstname.lastname@example.org.